The black circles are the inner and outer exclusion zones as mapped to simple geographical area, and the blue circles are as mapped to population density as calculated by my friend Rebecca.

Of course, it’s all nothing to worry about. Move along.

“Plans to use energy from a crematorium to heat a council swimming pool have been approved. Redditch Borough Council voted in favour of plans to heat Abbey Stadium Leisure Centre using energy from the town’s crematorium. The council said it would result in savings of £14,560 a year”.

Picture credit: Joffey

At first glance, anybody could be forgiven for immediately having the thought of ‘eeww, that’s a bit icky’ – one has the immediate thought of some kind of Soylent Green scenario, or worse still, images of bits of ash getting into the water.

But that is, of course, silly – the person at the council register office is no more likely to be pushing bereaved families into a cremation rather than a burial (though it’d be interesting to know if they offer a discount) than do doctors suggest prematurely switching off life-support machines in order to get at the organs.

But anyway, why not make good use of the energy expended in cremation?

Regardless of the states of either the economy or the planet, surely the council has an obligation to you, the council tax payer, to make the best use of resources?

Even though about 85% of the residents of Redditch agreed with the idea in a consultation, and it’s a reasonably common practice in the rest of Europe, Unison, the public sector union, disagree:

“The plans had been attacked by Unison when they were first announced. The union said the proposals were ‘sick and an insult to local residents’”.

Personally I would have hoped that Unison would be concentrating on how it can best protect the jobs and terms and conditions of public sector employees rather than worrying about what happens to the heat from burning dead people.

In the greenwash department, this carton of Sainsbury’s apple juice speaks for itself, really.

Over the last few days I’ve watched this skip, on King Edwards Drive near where I live, gradually fill up.

Not your usual house clearance though – the skip contains a brand new futon, brand new bed, brand new clothes, brand new microwave oven, brand new designer chairs, even a brand new washing machine (though I noted that was liberated – not by me – within just a few hours of being deposited).

I can’t help wondering about the story behind the skip; it seems unusual for so much new stuff to be chucked out.

The obvious prediction is an eviction of some kind – the tenant couldn’t keep up with the rent, so was chucked out by the landlord at short notice. Or worse still, the tenant was keeping up with their rent perfectly fine, but the landlord themself weren’t keeping up their mortgage payments – leaving the tenant, immorally unprotected in these instances, put out on the street with nowhere to go.

Perhaps there was foul play involved? Maybe a drug deal went wrong, and the tenant found themselves having to skip the country at short notice?

Or perhaps it is for a nice reason – the tenant has just inherited a wopping legacy, or had a substantial payrise, and is having a total clearout, a replacement of new stuff. Perhaps they’ve moved out because they’ve just embarked on a new phase of a relationship and moved in with a partner, who has better and even newer (or perhaps older, pricelessly antique) stuff?

Whatever the story, what a criminal waste, chucking out all these perfectly good household items, especially in an area where just a few hundred yards away lies some of the worst deprivation in the country. Freecycle, the Ladywood Furniture Project, eBay, the British Heart Foundation shop in Northfield, or even friends would make much better use of these items than the council tip.

“In preparation for a potential heatwave this summer, people need to make sure they have a fair weather friend they can call on for aid, officials advise”.

The Met Office are apparently not quite sure yet whether we’re actually going to get a serious disaster-level heatwave like we had in (was it 2006?), but they do think we’re definitely going to get a hot summer.

If we do have a full scale heatwave, fortunately the Department of Health has published a Heatwave Plan containing lots of top advice about how beat the blazing sun:

Sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it? I have to admit, for years I myself was a bit of a supporter of fully electric cars as a green solution to the problem of urban transport – even allowing for the flaw in the solution of it moving the pollution from the city streets to where the power stations are.

However, I heard the other day somebody express a much more significant flaw with electric cars.

Most people live in towns and cities.

Most people don’t have garages connected to their houses.

Many people are often lucky if they can park their car in their own street, let alone directly outside their own house.

Where will most people plug their electric cars in to recharge overnight?

In short, that’s £250m which would be far better spent elsewhere.