Emily Postnews is Dead - Suicide From: smt@ohitmous.demon.co.uk (Saul M Tones)
Associated Universal Press has announced the suicide yesterday of Emily Postnews, the American guru of PC behaviour. AUP said that the body of Ms Postnews was found in her New York apartment surrounded by 5 line sigs. A Coroner's Office spokeswoman claimed that Ms Postnews, who was fatally allergic to sigs greater than 4 lines, took her own life. The news comes after the statement earlier this week in which Congress announced that the Postnews recommendation of a maximum 4 line sig was unconstitutional. The limitation on sig length was against the Fourth Amendment and contrary to the principles of free speech. The law in Britain is unclear but an EU commission has been set up to look into the matter. One British organisation, the Amiga Lusers' Group Against Everything, has pledged to continue Ms Postnews's work. A spokesman for ALGAE has revealed plans to write a sig-stripping program which will remove all sigs before they are uploaded to the Internet. Demented Local, an Internet newsgroup devoted to sig reduction, has blamed the death of Ms Postnews on one man, F U Quitt. They accuse Mr Quitt of posting under 14 different names and with varying length sigs in an effort to cause Usenet havoc. One of their members, R Sole, has publicly called for Mr Quitt to be removed from the Demented list of subscribers. No one at Demented was available for comment this morning and their phones remained unanswered. Cyber Coff, a WHAT-time??!! TV production, will not discuss sig lengths on the grounds that all their staff use Demented Local. One South American source believes it has proof that some Cyber Coff staff actually live in Demented Local. Emily Postnews will be buried on Tuesday at the @Long Last Cemetery, New York. No flowers by request. |